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 Funny English Crap

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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Nov 20, 2014 10:16 am

Why were they off the coast of Spain? :-)

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WhiteSnow
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:14 am

Louis_llewellynn wrote:
The Prince strode in to the Chamber with purpose and a grim face, as he restrained his anger, which he was struggling to control. He paused, took some deep breaths and regained a resemblance of control.

.......' My Lady Speaker, Parliamentarians of England it is with regret I come before you this day to announce the loss of two English Geonevese Merchant Ships to a cowardly attack from a force believed to be made up of Two War Carracks and One Battle Cog in the Vicinity of the Province of Corona de Aragon, Spain.

The two English vessels: BSC Heart of Barnstaple and Ichnusa were on official business of the Crown of England enroute to Barcalona with crews to take delivery of two Warships, one being the new Flagship of the REN, the other to be part of the REN reserve fleet.

Those English men and women lost at sea this day:

Caitilin
Carressa
Baldar
Robert_Helsing
Corsaira
Created1
Valdan
Mortarion09
Descalah
Rowan_ashenheart
Amerys
Reynard
Percival
Fate
Mishayla


As of this moment I only have one confirmed attacking ships details, I am waiting for the details of the other two before His Majesty enacts a decree of Piracy.

War Carrack - Ola.Roja Captain Cice.bea

I will update this house as more confirmed details come to hand.'.......
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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:13 pm

Wow. They lost a lot of money then. :-)

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Motherlucka
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:05 pm

That is why I'm always hesitant to sail down there... its months of travel and there is the risk of being sunk or ripped off.
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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:20 pm

If we go, it has to be an armada

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anto_capone
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:40 am

those stupid genovese ships. english love them, but so easy to sink them

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ahlia
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:35 am

Lol at Created1.
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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:43 pm

http://forum.renaissancekingdoms.com/viewtopic.php?p=87937526#87937526

Oh how the English hate our taverns ....

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kythera
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:16 pm

Hahaha I love that this still irks them.

Also:
Quote :
Would it be alright if I opened a tavern in Ireland called "Paddy O'Drinxalot! Home of the first all you can drink potato bar!" The answer is no, it would not be alright.
Wrong, that would be awesome! Then we might actually think you were starting to grow a sense of humor.... but nope, apparently you're just growing potatoes and bitter resentment. Strange choice, that.
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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:41 pm

that lass totally reminds me of ladylilyfeilds too

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Toasti Jen
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 3:51 pm

Wow. Whining really IS the great English past time, isn't it??

If she really didn't like it that much, why is she giving it that much attention? That tavern is like, a year old. Bringing it up in the forums a year later is just....well, English! Laughing

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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:11 pm

Every now and again, I still get income from my Westmorland tavern. :-)

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James
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:31 pm

Lol that thread is awesome.
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Roby Lambourne
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Jan 05, 2015 6:19 pm

Is anything worthwhile happening in the British isles any more?
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TheMightyTrooper
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:09 am

Nope. I think we need another war.

Even the mainland is boring.
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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:49 am

How about England, Scotland, Ireland and Portugal/Spain vs. France? :-)

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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:00 am

That would be a battle I would love to take part in, a clash of the titans match.  See how many times we can break RK in the process Very Happy

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Trinity
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:23 pm

Now that would be epic Roxxie! Something I'd like to see too Bekah lol!

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Mysterie
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Jan 08, 2015 5:13 am

Toasti Jen wrote:
Wow. Whining really IS the great English past time, isn't it??

If she really didn't like it that much, why is she giving it that much attention? That tavern is like, a year old. Bringing it up in the forums a year later is just....well, English! Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Jan 08, 2015 4:02 pm

In a slight link to the tavern situation I got this letter through a few days ago:

Quote :
Dear Zukran ,

Happy New Year! A bit of good with the bad news. Tavern taxes have been waived since 21 November 1462. But that leaves you a back balance due of 2120 pounds. I've taken the liberty of taking the penalty fees away and all new tavern taxes from the balance due.

Sincerely,

Tahsa Falnor
Sheriff of Mercia

And that's my Mercia Tavern and not the one in Devon that's had unpaid taxes for five years...Quickly checking the record for that tavern, the longest running unpaid tax bill is as follows:
Quote :
1719 days' delay

Tax Amount
Taxes on land on the taverns 20.00
Fine 345.80

Total 365.80 pounds

If only taverns actually earned you 20.00 a week, I could have built an army of battleships right now Sad
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TheMightyTrooper
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Fri Jan 09, 2015 11:41 pm

Yeah, I owe a shit ton of money to Ville Franche. Opened a city in Liverpool when it was flipped Indie. I submit a ticket asking for the taxes to be cancelled since they're owed to Ville Franche back in July too and still no answer Razz For now I keep my endless debt to noone.

Professional Tax: Ville franche
To be paid before 27 Fev 1462

Professional Tax: Ville franche
To be paid before 05 Mar 1462

Professional Tax: Ville franche
To be paid before 12 Mar 1462

Professional Tax: Ville franche
To be paid before 19 Mar 1462

Professional Tax: Ville franche
To be paid before 25 Mar 1462

Professional Tax: Ville franche
To be paid before 01 Avr 1462

Just the oldest one:

Professional Tax: Ville franche

To be paid before 27 Fev 1462,
subject to a 10% penalty + 1% per day late

317 days' delay

Tax Amount
Taxes on land on the taverns 20.00
Fine 65.40

Total 85.40 pounds
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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Jan 29, 2015 9:35 pm

From : Kei , Lord of Prestatyn, Rondoval Family
Date : 29/01/1463 - 23:26:54
Subject: Greetings!
Mistress Roxxanne,

I am just writing you to implore you. As a courtesy to our people over a year later, would you please close your CA tavern in the town of Kendal?

Every day we go to the taverns and every day I have to look at a long list of taverns that all say things like:

- FURY -
Owner: Dar
Bartender: Dar

We came, we fought, we conquered.

----
WE CAME, WE SAW, WE KICKED ENGLANDs ASS

SUCK IT

(This is what yours says)

There are six of these taverns still open here.

None of them have food or drink now. They are only here to taunt us. I am thankful that you and Dar have the shortest tavern messages. Some are not so to-the-point. Wink

Now, I know you don't have to look at it every day, but we do. Every single day for almost a year now. It is just really upsetting and there is nothing that we can ever do about it. All we can do is ask. I am trying so hard to be polite right now. This has really bothered me ever since I chose to move here. I know you're a sensible person, so you are the first person I am writing to.

I'm not even a native Kendalian. I think I know how they all feel though. We have to live here. We have to raise our families here. Is there any way that I can talk you into closing it? I thank you for considering.

Best Regards,
Kei Rondoval

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Springtime
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Jan 29, 2015 10:03 pm

Not too bright is he? If it were me, I would ask what I could give you in return, offer something, not just ask you to get rid of the tavern as a favor (especially if you didn't like me all that much Razz)

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ahlia
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:57 pm

Tell him to get the entire NNGO a royal pardon and then maybe you'll consider it Razz
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Motherlucka
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Fri Jan 30, 2015 12:25 am

No, tell the King to give us all Baronies and Lordships in return.
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