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 Funny English Crap

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TheMightyTrooper
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:52 pm

I was thinking Kat and Eurydice, but that's good...
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Prut
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:02 am

Bekah wrote:
Mick wrote:
Heh, who volunteers to walk in to England and have them obviously kill them, just to kick off an outrage based on that?

I am up for that Very Happy

I'm outlawed already in RK England and on a killlist, so why not Smile
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Terrasophia
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Sun May 08, 2016 5:49 pm

Meanwhile, in Kendal:

Quote :
Alfwines Revenge
Owner: Alfwine
Bartender: Rareit
Beer for 0.70 pound, Menus from 5.00 pounds
I can make you a meal for cheaper if you ask and I am in my tavern.

04/02/1462 04:09 : You have hit Rothgar. This blow was most likely fatal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff_Ex-GHGt8

I was loyal Kendal and to my county for 4 years. I was upset about taxes and was protesting. I was not protesting to cause any type of harm. Simply on the principle that my goods were not selling after market taxes were implemented. I was told it was overproduction and I should stop working my fields. This answer did not suite me well and I protested against my government. During the trial even the mayor defended me. After being a loyal citizen who never once committed a crime and only helped his town and county, this is how I was treated:

Trial for treason begun on 1460-07-25.
Prosecutor : County Westmorland
The county Judge: Lawrence_ii
The Count: Grace.
The verdict : Guilty
Sentence : prison sentence 4 days, A fine of 400 pounds

Trial for treason begun on 1460-07-25.
Prosecutor : County Westmorland
The county Judge: Lawrence_ii
The Count: Grace.
The verdict : Guilty
Sentence : prison sentence 6 days, A fine of 600 pounds

I am now NNGO. I was led directly into NNGO's hands by Westmoreland politicians. This is England. This is how they treat long time loyal lords to their county. I will not look back. This is my revenge. It is bittersweet, yet was unnecessary. The county politicians did not want to reason with me in any way. They over charged me for attempted revolts I did by myself based on principle. I have even been mayor of Kendal many months in the past. I could have ran for mayor and won. Why would I have been set out to hurt my town I was born in, Kendal?

I wasn't. That's the point. I never had any intention on hurting Kendal or the county. I was proving a point and was harshly punished. I lost all my pigs along with my lord wages. I starved and suffered in jail. I will never forget what happened to me. I will now show loyalty to NNGO the way I had in the past to my county for 4+ years. Anto treats people way better and I thank him for the opportunity to help avenge the past transgressions brought against me by "my" county.
===========

********
MENU
********
Booze SALE - .85 pound

I am also a blacksmith and can make/sharpen items for NNGO allies by request. Send a mail if interested.
Quote :

The Undercity
Owner: Angeljoy_whitesnow
Bartender: Dash_de_vanmere
Beer for 1.00 pound, Menus from 5.00 pounds
All Rogues and CA welcome. If you're hungry and need a meal, just let me know and we'll make sure you're sorted. If you're thirsty this is the place to have a drink.

If you're English, come on in, we like entertainment!

***Special Thanks to Queen of Scots Terrasophia for providing the food***
Quote :

~Il Mantello dell Eclissi~ (Kendal)
Owner: Anto_capone
Bartender: Anto_capone
Beer for 1.00 pound
~The Cloak of the Eclipse~

***

All are welcome in the NNGO Northern HQ of England.

For more information about NNGO, contact the owner.



www.nngo.biz
Quote :

- FURY -
Owner: Dar
Bartender: Dar
Beer for 1.00 pound, Menus from 15.00 pounds
0====={]::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

We came, we fought, we conquered.

0====={]::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

Quote :



THE CELTIC ALLIANCE WAS HERE
Owner: Roxxane
Bartender: Roxxane
Beer for 1.00 pound, Menus from 7.50 pounds
WE CAME, WE SAW, WE KICKED ENGLANDs ASS

SUCK IT
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Trinity
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Sun May 08, 2016 9:41 pm

Thanks for sharing Terra!

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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon May 09, 2016 4:05 am

I bet that they hate those taverns being there, and there is nothing they can do about it Very Happy

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Roxxane
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue May 10, 2016 11:09 am

I occasionally receive email requests to remove that tavern. Smile

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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue May 10, 2016 3:54 pm

Aww, poor dears Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue May 10, 2016 9:23 pm

Maybe them asking you to remove them is just a subtle way of asking you to come back? Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed May 11, 2016 4:22 am

Speaking of Taverns:
Professional Tax: Ville franche

To be paid before 13 Oct 1461,
subject to a 10% penalty + 1% per day late

941 days' delay

Tax Amount
Taxes on land on the taverns 20.00
Fine 190.20

Total 210.20 pounds


One example. Though to be honest I have no idea where the hell this tavern is
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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed May 11, 2016 5:52 pm

Ooh, now we can play hunt the tavern, see if we can find you tavern Very Happy

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Helter Skelter
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon May 23, 2016 4:12 am

I figured, since this piece was written in England, that it'll go here. Before Bob died he wrote a poem deticated to the most infamous individual in the English speaking world of RK. I did some forum research when I wrote this so I could use old Anto quotes from way back when. I wrote a few poems in the thread this is in which speak on RK history as Bob was a bard and much of the old sagas in real life deal with not just religious icons but historic events as well. Well anyway, here it is, hope y'all enjoy:

The Pirate King

"The day of Reckoning has come-
Long live the King!"
Or so he said for Olde Albion.
A man of decadence, a man of word;
An alluring tongue, or so I've heard.
A soul asunder made through the forge,
A sword which had been our scourge.
His memory is long or so it seems
For his name haunts England's dreams;
Not a thorn nor splinter small,
But a power which can enthrall.

A pack of wolves came for his throat,
To run away would ne'er do;
To the alpha he had said, "I challenge you."
Leader of armies 'cross Europe's lands,
Upon mighty ship a skilled captain.
He conquered while blood ran red,
And at his feet were enemies dead.
The wolves did scatter yon to glen and glen,
A friend to England was he then.
But he split allegiance so,
And made Olde Albion his bitter foe.

"Death to England,"
Was the mantra screamed
By the folk of land old and green.
Bristol Bay fell against his keel,
Westmorland beneath his heel.
Mines did crumble, commerce lost,
England's glory was tempest-tossed.
Many did die though not in vain,
He did not leave the rest in waste.
'Cross the Irish Sea he did return,
But does he still wish England to burn?

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Trinity
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:03 pm

I know, this is old, but I'm just now reading/catching up on the forum.

Looky! Looky! We have English in Ireland!

English Traitor's!! They're not Irish!

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Taog
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Aug 29, 2016 6:04 am

Here's something funny.

Someone in Westmoreland forums, and now Tower of London, is trying to role-play Algernon O'Ruairc de Hanley (some here may remember that name). Why he wants to RP a character that I created, beats me - but he shall do so poorly.
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Bekah
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Aug 29, 2016 2:33 pm

He does do so very poorly indeed. I saw his writing and knew that he was nowhere near as good as you. And I remember you when you were Regent in England because me and my IG brother had an audience with you. Your writing style was always very eloquent with a hint of tragedy to it. This new player has none of that style.

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Mon Aug 29, 2016 10:36 pm

+1 Bekah

Couldn't have said it better! Sorry to hear it too, rk just isn't the same anymore. No longer unique writing styles, or people for that matter, if someone isn't ripping off a name they're ripping off your ideas and shooting them to hell. Was on the forum a couple nights ago, didn't see that but ended up disgusted over a few other things.

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:06 am

Laughing A "hint" of tragedy? He died chasing visions of his late wife through the woods not long after very nearly self-flagellating himself to death. I wanted to see how far a half crazed criminal with a Messiah complex could get in RK politics.... and the results certainly surprised me!
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue Aug 30, 2016 9:19 am

I'm actually kinda remembering that now lol! Might make it a point to log in to find and read some of those originals again! But yes there was always a feeling of tragedy or...sadness? In many of your later posts, I could feel it as I read. Wasn't often I'd personally come across posts that could make you 'feel' as you read along, those were always the best IMO.

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Tue Aug 30, 2016 10:19 am

Aye a "hint" Very Happy I'm a real life manic depressive, hint is I see hahahaha.

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:59 pm

I don't know why he would try to pose as an already created unique character..  but before changing his name to Algernon.. he was known as Ian.de.brus

He got in trouble last year for allegedly trying to recruit people in France for an attack on Glasgow..

He failed of course, but I respect him for that.  While everyone else in RK dies a slow death of boredom he actually tried to make things happen.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:36 am

I've linked to several of the originals (or recaps of same in some instances, as several posts have disappeared over the years). I do have to thank this more recent 'Algernon' for calling attention to my creation - he brought me back into the game, and I plan to take a few dark turns with it.
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Trinity
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Fri Sep 02, 2016 7:05 am

Well, I'm glad it can at least be turned into positivity! Yeah a lot of my old threads/links are gone too. Hopefully I'll get some time to delve into some forum reading, you'll have to link me Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:11 am

Wink Well here's a link to much penned of old:

http://forum.renaissancekingdoms.com/viewtopic.php?t=2312598
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PostSubject: Re: Funny English Crap   Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:47 am

Thanks! Very Happy I'll get to reading tonight or tomorrow!


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