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 {RP}State Of Mind

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Donnor
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PostSubject: {RP}State Of Mind   Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:29 am

(OOC: This first post is going to be somewhat of a flashback at first, I am completely unsure of where I am going with this so hopefully it flows smoothly. Donnor, like myself, is going through a good bit of turmoil with his life at this point and I figure it will make my life easier if I am writing. It will be slow paced as I often feel to lazy to write. The RP is open, there is really no need to keep it closed.)

In the absence of love, there is only pain. That was how he had felt the last few days. The fighting in Carlisle had grown boring, no one was attacking because they knew they wouldn't make it through the walls with the NNGO armies in control. His days and nights started to run together, Mikhaila was still recovering from her injuries and he found himself pulling away from her. He feared getting to close to another person because every time he did something went wrong. Drinking heavily, like he did every night only made matters worse and his addiction to the herbs from his last near-death experience had changed him. Something in his head was not quite right and it was only a matter of time now before that ticking bomb exploded and drove him into a dark abyss within his own mind. He felt like a prisoner trapped in his own body as he sat there and eyed the medicines before him. It seemed as though they were the only things he had left in life that brought him comfort. He sat there brooding and mumbling to himself as he took his drugs.

There was a knocking outside of the door where he had been staying, in a fit of rage he lifted the table and tossed it through the window. Grabbing his sword he charged and attacked the door, crashing through it to the ground. Hearing the slicing of flesh followed by a groan he knew he had hit someone. The metallic scent of the blood on his hands brought out a wicked smile as he smeared the fluid on his face. Looking down to see who the victim was, he sneered when he realized it was a messenger boy, no more than 12 years of age by the looks of it. Angered at the fact that it was not a worthy opponent he swung his sword down over and over hacking at the flesh of the corpse below before raising to his feet and walking back inside.

Grabbing his things he walked to the castle where everyone else was supposed to be. Upon arrival he noticed that the town and its taverns seemed empty, something that never happened. He walked to the docks to see if Anto was on his boat but to his surprise all the ships had left. It was then that he wondered how long everyone had been gone and how long he was in his dazed state of mind.



(OOC: Flash forward, will fill in more of a back story of where Donnor went through out the story.)

He rolled onto his side, feeling the warmth of the bedclothes wrapped around him. The pain in his stomach mixed with the chills were brutal as he threw his arm over the side of the bed in search of his pack, he needed his medicine. Blindly, his hand waved up and down beside the bed unable to find the bag. Becoming enraged, he grabbed the tray from beside the bed that contained the glass of water and a vase with some flowers. Whipping it against the wall, the two glass objects smashed, making a loud noise that would awaken the dead. If that didn't, the long string of obscenities that spewed from his mouth surely would.

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Mikhaila
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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:33 am

She walked in darkness, her shadow but a silhouette in the light of the silver moon, a book under her arm and a quill tucked into a pocket. Barefooted she made her way through the quiet of a small forest, here she could think and write her thoughts. Not realizing how far she had gone she shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head up to take a look at where the moon cast its shadow and made her way to where it lit up a small patch of soft moss. Removing her cape she placed it upon the ground and sat upon it. Her legs crossed and her feet tucked under her to keep them warm. She dropped the book in front of her and with a deep sigh rested her face in her hands and thought about the present. The distant sound of a wolf howling taking her attention away from her thoughts and back reality. She grabbed the book and opened her diary, turning to a blank page. Strange, she thought. How something so small could keep her lucid in the darkness that seemed to wrap its fingers around her life. She shivered as a breeze surrounded her reminding her that winter was mere days away. She brought her hands together to warm them and then reached into her pocket to grab her quill from it. The hollow object shimmered in the light and a small smile reached her lips but was quickly replaced with a thoughtful glance. She bit her lip and tapped the quill as thoughts fluttered through her. Words she could not voice and thoughts she dared not tell a soul.

Her mind ran back to the moment she had lain at deaths door, in Carlisle. Cold coursed through her and pain gripped her very being and all she wanted was to open the door that would release her from it. The voice refused to let her open it. Calling to her and beckoning her to follow. Only days later, when her fever had broke, had she realized that it was his voice that had given her a will to stay. Sadness filled her as she was reminded of the present and the reality of it. He had been keeping his distance from her, though she would swear she felt his eyes upon her always. Unknowingly she had started writing these thoughts down and now she stared at the page with tears in her eyes. Angry that she had let herself get emotional she yelled out in the darkness and swore, throwing the quill out in an arc in front of her. She then reached into her pocket and grasped the Ink pot that was within and hurled it across the air. The sound it made as it shattered making her feel like she had some semblance of control in her life.

Without a second thought she stood up, book in a hand and bent to pick up the cape; placing it around her. With quick strides she made her way back to the ship; they would be sailing off soon. With purposeful steps she made her way to the ships quarters as a loud sound pierced through the quiet night, startling her for a moment. A lopsided smile could then be seen on her face as she heard him yell and cuss. She could just imagine his face as he rummaged through the room looking for his bag. He called it his medicine but the pagan herbs did nothing but keep him in a state of numbness and take him from her. She placed her hand upon the door knob and was about to open it but hesitated, much had changed these past months and he would be furious once he realized that his bag was gone. Slowly taking a step back she made her way to the deck of the ship.
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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Thu Nov 25, 2010 4:06 pm

The obscenities didn't stop when he rose from the bed, if anything he became more enraged by the fact that he had to even get up in the first place. The piercing cramps in his stomach an all to well reminder that he indeed needed to find that euphoria that followed the ingestion of his drugs. Staggering, he grabbed the wall to catch his balance. With a growl he slammed his fist through the wall which was followed by the crunching sound of bones. A wail escaped his throat as he thought out loud. ”Good one stupid, break your hand. As if you haven't gotten enough pains to tend to.” He mumbled and groaned, as he nursed his hand close to his stomach while he walked out of the empty room and down the hall.

Stumbling upon a medical supply chest he began to rummage through it for anything resembling his herbs. Glass vials and ceramic jars filled with all sorts of things, he slowly began tossing them to the floor when he heard a voice.
”Ye be gettin' out me kitchen boy if ye know what good fer ya.” Kitchen? He had been in the kitchen this whole time. Grabbing a knife from the counter he flung it at the cook, missing by a mile, and continued on his path. Entering another room, he found another chest. This one had to contain his precious medications! He began to rummage once again only to be left in disappointment. Slumping to the floor, he slammed his head back and heard a crash followed by a warming sensation filling his head. It began to grow dark and his eyes grew heavy as he started to close them.

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:23 pm

Staring out at the water she heard the waves lap against the boat. The quiet calm lasted but a few moments and as she looked about she could see that the crew seemed wary; their eyes flickering to the deck below. She bit her lip and debated whether or not to go down below but thoughts drifted through her and her stubbornness would not allow her to seek him. Let him yell and throw things about, she thought. He will in time weary himself. Instead she sought out the spot she had placed his bag, all the while making sure that she was not seen. She felt relief wash through her as she felt the object with her hand and pulled it from its hiding place.

Making her way back up to the deck of the ship she paced back and forth. She then stopped, her heart pounding and leaned against the deck. Fiddling with his bag in her hand she opened it to reveal its contents and took a handful of herbs out of the bag. It was strange, she thought. How something so small could be something she loathed more then anything in the world; she hated what they stood for. On the verge of tears she opened her hand and watched as the herbs slowly fluttered into the air for a moment, then descended to the dark abyss of the ocean below.
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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Fri Nov 26, 2010 11:12 am

He had only been out for a moment or so, but when his eyes re-opened, he now had to deal with a headache, a broken hand, and the symptoms from being without his herbs. He felt hopelessness as he rose to his feet and decided to make his way to the deck. Perhaps a little air would solve two of the three ailments. If they had docked, he wouldn't know because everything was still swaying for him but he knew as soon as they landed, he could make his way to the nearest apothecary. A burst of sea air filled his nostrils as he climbed the stairs to the deck. The were not yet docked, but he could see the An Gort port within distance, it would be only a matter of minutes.

Emerging further onto the deck he noticed her, with a deep sigh he decided he needed to speak with her. As he grew closer he saw her hand clutching something, it was his bag! For a moment he felt an overwhelming sense of joy. His nirvana was only a few feet away so he picked up his pace until he stood behind her. Slowly his hand rose to her shoulder and he spoke softly, masking his aches from her until he could get a hold of the pack.
”You found my bag, I thought I had left it in Scotland.” He paused a moment before continuing. ”Please hand it here, there are a few things I need from it before we dock in Gort.”

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Fri Nov 26, 2010 11:26 am

He startled her when he touched her, so lost in her thoughts and the moment that she had not been keeping an eye out for him. Her breathing grew rapid, her face flushed as she gripped the bag with all her might. Dam it, she thought. She had not had time to remove all the herbs from the bag. She turned around to face him, putting the bag behind her, trying to think up something to give her more time. She looked into his blue eyes and could see a hint of pain flickering just in the back of them and took him all in for a moment. Even now he dared not show any weakness when in her company. Fine, I will play your game. She thought. A smile crept up to her face and she spoke in a whisper as she placed her lips just close enough to his, that they touched lightly. If you seek something I have I will require a token from you. A kiss perhaps?
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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Fri Nov 26, 2010 11:38 am

She was so close he could feel her breath upon his lips. He bit his lip. ”A kiss? I would give you one for nothing my dear.” Placing a gentle kiss upon her lips, he pulled back and smiled. ”That kind of kiss? Or perhaps you had been thinking of something a little more than a peck. Something more like...” He grabbed her in his arms and kissed her harder. He was ignoring his pains for the moment. It would all be worth it once he had his bag and was back down below with his medicines. ”Mmmm, was that more along the lines of what you was requiring?” For a moment he felt like his old self, that mischievous grin played across his face as he flirted and teased. Even for a brief moment he forgot his herbs and his pains until he caught a glimpse of his pack in her hand. ”Now it is time for you to return the favor, my bag please?”

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Fri Nov 26, 2010 2:22 pm

The shock of the kiss nearly made her forget the purpose of the distraction. As he spoke she quickly flipped the bag upside down and let the contents fall into the water below, allowing herself to be caught up in his second kiss. The moment seemed perfect until he spoke again about his bag. Her eyes looked down at the bag in her hand, then back up at him. Why does such a small thing seem to hold so much importance to you? She said quietly. It was not long ago that there where other things that you held dear to your heart, yet you seem to have pushed those away. Taking a hand she touched her lips with her thumb; remembering things of the past. I keep my word by giving you this, she said placing the bag in his hand. Know that as much as you seek to keep things from me, I do know your secrets and have kept them. Taking a step away from him she turned to leave and braced herself for what was surely coming.
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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:05 am

He watched in horror as the contents of his bag spilled out into the water. Not hearing her words he quickly dove into the cold water. His body stiffened as he hit the water, the change in temperature was unanticipated and unwelcomed. As he rose back to the top empty handed and gasping for breath, he looked up at her on the boat thinking that it was a good thing they move slow. Grabbing a rope hanging over the side of the boat, he began to pull himself back onto the deck.

Dripping from head to toe and shivering, he looked at her with pain in his eyes and was glad that he was unable to hit a woman because he would have before throwing her overboard.
"Well...I guess that's all for me until we get on shore." He paused a moment as he continued to look at her as he shivered. "I suppose I will have to find a way to make me feel better...think you are able to help?"

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:00 pm

His addiction obviously making him react without thinking. She watched as he hurled himself over board and brought a hand to her open mouth. Was his need to feel numb so great that it overpowered every thought in his mind? She closed her eyes and for the first time in a while wondered what she was doing there and if he was truly worth all this pain. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of him exerting himself as he climbed back up and instinctively she took a step towards him but stopped when she saw that look in his eye. Well, she thought. At least he can feel something. Looking at his drenched clothes she saw him shivering from the cold and her eyes drifted to his lips and not thinking she wondered how he would taste. Shaking the thought from her mind she barely caught his last words. Was he serious? These past weeks he had done nothing but consume himself with the taint of numbness, caused by his drugs, and here he was asking her.... Rage filled her body and she clenched her fists, her mind and heart struggling with each other. Her body shook from emotion and she took a step towards him, her fists still clenched. She would not be an option, she had told him as much when they first met. Looking up at him, as he stood in front of her, she pushed him with her hands and yelled at him.

Your drugs are gone and NOW you want me!? I have watched for weeks as all you have done is drift away from me because of, she pointed to where she dropped his bag, that! Your life so consumed by getting your next fix that you could not see me beyond its grip. Her eyes teared up and her voice grew ragged. Do you still love me? She whispered. I can still see the man I fell in love with beyond the veil that you hide behind. Why must you hide and numb yourself from feeling anything? Her anger now abated she let her body slump to the ground. No longer caring to show any weakness she let herself cry.

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Thu Feb 10, 2011 9:41 pm

He watched as she reacted to his response and wondered if she had misunderstood what he was trying to say about having her help him. Before responding to anything else she said he let out a sigh and sat down in front of her. Grabbing her hands tightly in his own, he spoke softly to her. "My love, you misunderstand me when I ask you if you are able to help. All I mean is will you help keep me sane as I go through whats happening?" Before she can respond, he continues to speak. Making sure to respond to what she has already said.

"I only appear to be drifting away from you, I don't want to end up going through the pain of a sour relationship like I have in the past and of course I love you, more than you could imagine." He paused to gather his thoughts and released one of her hands. Placing his upon her cheek and guiding her eyes to his as he continued on with hisshort speech. "You mean more to me than any drug I may ingest but as I said before, my heart cant take it if thing do not work out. After everything that has happened, I worry about getting to close and find myself keeping myself closed off and isolated from the world lately." He leaned closer, wanting so badly to kiss her, just to show her how much he cares about her. It was strange, the whole time with her since he came out of the water, he had forgotten about himself being ill from withdraw. A soft smile appeared on his face as he continued to watch her tear-filled eyes, hoping that he had given her some comfort about how he felt.

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Fri Sep 16, 2011 2:00 am

(Time jump from the last post since Ive been gone so long. Since my last post, Donnor and Mikhaila got married, he quit drugs, but is still murdering. Twisted Evil )

He rolled over in bed, content with himself. After a night of passion that involved murder and theft, as well as other things he and his wife do together, a good nights sleep was well needed. Still blood soaked and out of breath he turned to face her and spoke softly. "What should we do tonight my dear? I was thinking we might need to hit the road for a while and relieve people of their heavy burden of a coin purse or two." He hadn't robbed anyone in a while so the thought of it excited him in unimaginable ways. He ran over a few ideas and locations in his head as they lie there. "How does that sound to you?"

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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Fri Sep 23, 2011 12:42 am

The low murmur of his voice woke her up from her stupor. Her head hurt and she hurt in places she didn't think could hurt. Slowly she opened her eyelids saw the soft rays of twilight trickle over him. Smiling she half heard what he said and leaning forward she brushed her lips upon his, giving him a light kiss. Morning she said arching her back and stretching her arms behind her; listening to his words. "How does that sound to you?" She gave him a lopsided smile and sat up in bed, pulling the covers over her. She opened her mouth about to talk when she realized that the bed was covered in semi fresh blood. Her eyes grew wide and not thinking she ran her hands across him to see if he was hurt. What did we do last night? A half memory of the sounds of metal hitting flesh and adrenaline filling her body. Are you hurt? Looking around she saw the glittering of was appeared to be coins thrown about the room and saw torn clothes upon the floor. She placed a hand on her head wondering how much she had drunk the night before and gave him a inquiring look. From the looks of this room and the aches all over my body it seems we had quite a night. Though it would seem that I may have drunk too much as I can barely recall the events. Leaning over she spoke quietly into his ear. Pray tell, did I at least have fun? With laughter in her voice she leaned back and looked him straight in the eyes. For if indeed I did it would seem that a little more chaos would be wonderful from the mundane life of council. Would you not agree?
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PostSubject: Re: {RP}State Of Mind   Thu Sep 29, 2011 12:15 am

Returning the light kiss, he smirked at her question about the previous evenings events and chuckled while he replied. "I am unsure to be honest, but judging by the amount of blood, the new, yet torn, clothing and the lack of injuries on each of our bodies...I would imagine we killed us someone. Whether they deserved it or not is irrelevant though. You know how my sword is, it requires fresh blood every so often. Oh and I am quite sure there was a fair amount of whiskey involved as well." He began to laugh as he placed his arm around her and stretching up to gently kiss her forehead. "Seeing as how you look to be in worse shape than I, I imagine you had much more to drink. Don't tell me I have become a bad influence on you already." He grins wickedly as he lay his head back on the pillow and looked up at her as she began to lean over to him.

His eyes glistened with evil as she whispered to him.
"Aye, I would imagine it was quite an eventful night from what I remember...And you do know what they say, all work and no play means to many idiots left alive, or something like that anyhow." He wanted to start planning their next adventure immediately, but the slight pounding in his brain was quite distracting at the moment, so for the moment he just lie there and watched her. "I wonder who exactly felt the cold steel, and what they did, if anything to need to expire. Knowing me, it was nothing, I just like to kill people...I substituted a drug addiction to a murder addiction, which has proven to be much more entertaining after all wouldn't you agree my dear?" He grinned wickedly as he finished speaking, the taste of death and whiskey still fresh upon his tongue.

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