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 Marijuana and my mom

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Lordmatthew
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PostSubject: Marijuana and my mom   Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:05 pm

Alright, so my parents have recently found out that I smoke weed a 3-4 times a week.

My dad is chill but my mom always has to act miserable. She always goes around saying she doesnt like "being the enforcer" but it seems that she fucking enjoys it because no one fucking asks her to get involved in everything. Anyway sophmore I lost alot of friends because she wouldn't let me go out with friends. It appears I may end up in this situation again senior year. What pisses me off is that she always talks about how she had no friends in highschool and how her parents sheltered her and that it made her teenage years miserable....but then she tries to fucking do the same thing to me.
She doesn't understand the concept of what a problem child is like. When I was out having fun smoking weed(sometimes drinking) I would always let her know I was ok and I would always come home at curfew. My grades have continued to improve(2.3 gpa freshman year, 2.8 sophmore, 3.35 junior....not to mention I go to one of the best high schools in the country) any idea how I can tell her all of this without her going to psycho bitch mode?

Another thing...she always makers herself miserable. Like lets say the family is out having dinner, she will always walk 3 paces behind the family every fucking time. I cant fucking deal with her.

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Mikhaila
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:10 pm

So this is all ooc Smile The mommy in me is coming out.

Heavens knows I did lots of crap, as a kid, that my parents didnt know a thing about. Think we all do at that age. Its normal to rebel and think that our friends are the most important people in our lives. Truth is your family should be the most important thing in your life. They will be with you forever. I know we have family we don't like, detest and frankly don't like. Heck if I could I would divorce one of my sisters but she IS my family and regardless of our differing opinions I would always beat the crap out of anyone that harmed her. Point here is why are you doing drugs? Seriously? I have seen the after affects of it. RL wise I was a nurse and man...you don't want to be addicted to that crap. Just seeing what it does to your insides would turn you off of it. It's not pretty. I think the real issue is, like all parents, we are not perfect. Sometimes it takes a while for us to see that our "babies" are not babies anymore. They are just like us and its sometimes hard for us to get used to that. You want to be treated as an adult, right? So do so and make adult choices BUT include your parents in them. Sit down and have a talk. Although some parents are not receptive to this you can always say you tried to be the gown up and in your mind you know that.

I am the black sheep of my family. Every one else is semi screwed up. I was so sheltered and grew up in a house hold that was abusive. God only knows how I ended up somewhat "normal". It is EXTREMELY hard for me not to revert to what I grew up with. Its a cycle that is hard to break. Please be patient with your mom. She is not perfect. She loves you. Its just hard. You will always clash with your parents and this is Normal. Just think that in a few years you will be missing the person that tells you not to do stupid things. I often find that every now and then I have my "mothers" voice in my head saying "you sure you want to do that?".

Anyways, before this ends up being a "speech" I will shush Razz
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Zakku
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 4:04 am

Lordmatthew wrote:
Alright, so my parents have recently found out that I smoke weed a 3-4 times a week.

My dad is chill but my mom always has to act miserable. She always goes around saying she doesnt like "being the enforcer" but it seems that she fucking enjoys it because no one fucking asks her to get involved in everything. Anyway sophmore I lost alot of friends because she wouldn't let me go out with friends. It appears I may end up in this situation again senior year. What pisses me off is that she always talks about how she had no friends in highschool and how her parents sheltered her and that it made her teenage years miserable....but then she tries to fucking do the same thing to me.
She doesn't understand the concept of what a problem child is like. When I was out having fun smoking weed(sometimes drinking) I would always let her know I was ok and I would always come home at curfew. My grades have continued to improve(2.3 gpa freshman year, 2.8 sophmore, 3.35 junior....not to mention I go to one of the best high schools in the country) any idea how I can tell her all of this without her going to psycho bitch mode?

Another thing...she always makers herself miserable. Like lets say the family is out having dinner, she will always walk 3 paces behind the family every fucking time. I cant fucking deal with her.


so how did they find out you were smoking the sticky icky?

Just man up and talk to your pops first and get what you need to say out to him and make it very clear to him that you would like to have a talk with the three of you about what is up. I dont know your mom all that well since we haven't talked in ages but I would think that if you started off with asking her why she feels the way she does about you lighting up or what ever the fuck it is that your doing. Once you've accomplished that if you can think over what is reasonable and what isnt and try to work out something with her and your dad. It might take multiple conversations to get anywhere but who said earning respect was easy? Worse comes to worse you got like 1 year then your probably going to uni and then you can do what ever the shit it is that gets your rocks off.
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anto_capone
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:12 am

zaks on the right track..

its probably not the fact that you are smoking ganja thats the real issue; its not like you are smoking cigs which would be WAY worse.
a lot of people think marijuana is addicting, but are wrong about that. laboratory rats that are given absurdly large quantities of the best ganja in the world build up a dependency. humans can build up this same dependency after years of use. this dependency can be more equated with coffee/caffeine.

blazing myself for years, with a few breaks in between: if i dont have my blaze its pretty much just like people who dont get their coffee is all. i regularly go many days without smoking at all with no ill effects.
i actually quit smoking cigs for a month now, but i cannot for the life of me quit nicotine. THAT is a mind fuck. Sad Razz

im not saying pack your bags and throw a teenage fit proclaiming 'viva la marijuana'; exactly the opposite: in that case you'd be better off just appeasing them until you were out the place. try to understand their perspective, that they care and want what is best for you in their own ways.
i thought i would never understand my mom, through all her issues and faults; until i had kids of my own. now, i at least understand where she was coming from. sometimes that place is/was another fucking planet, but meh, i love her. Razz

as you get older it gets easier to see things from other people's point of view. you learn to be able to impartially look at situations more and more from other people's perspectives.

so back to my first point, full circle:
Quote :
its probably not the fact that you are smoking ganja thats the real issue;

talking always helps, arguing not so much. respectfully talk about things that are important to you, and use positive reinforcement.

Example: "Once school is done I will not be seeing many of my friends because *insert reason here, like college or that you're off to join the army etc*, so I would like to spend time with them while I can. I understand that you don't like me smoking marijuana, so I won't (lie or not is up to you, point is the old 'their house their rules' look at things will win you points). I've done *insert good deeds here, like good grades and not missing curfews etc* and will continue to do so."

**

Put it into a respectful perspective they can understand. Choose your battles wisely. Realize that soon you'll be on your own anyway. Enjoy the free rent and food while you can bro. Razz

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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:19 pm

Quote :
i actually quit smoking cigs for a month now

Yay! I'm happy for ya, bro.




@LM. Weed fascinates me. I've tried it a few times and out of those few times, I've found it a very grounding experience for me, but then again, I have anxiety. But I think like any drug or food, you have too much of it and you're going to have issues. Every brain and body is different. Just because your friends are handling weed well and just because you are, doesn't mean you'll handle it well down the road.

Also, I'm pretty sure that many parents view weed as a gateway drug. Your mom has no assurance that you wont decide to try other drugs afterwards. Even if you make a promise not to try others, that's really not going to assuage her fears. You can try to get her calm enough to not talk about it anymore but I doubt she's going to really approve.
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_Melissa.
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:24 pm

...


Last edited by _Melissa. on Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Lordmatthew
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:54 pm

No other drugs(smoke salvia sometimes but that is legal in the US), my friends are all smart kids...im friends with smart stoner hippies.

I dont hang around hoodlums.

My mom just keeps changing the reasons why she is against it.

I was smoking to much this year anyway...getting buzzed/high(not stoned) everyday wasn't geat for my memory. Ill probably just cut my smoking down till I am in college.

The thing that pisses me off with my mom telling me about the health effects of weed is that she is perfectly fine giving me Concerta(ADD pills).
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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:16 pm

I'm sure this will look like I'm being square but...

I know people who are smarter than you who have ruined themselves from drugs and at twice your age, still remark on how stupid their family is for not letting them destroy themselves.

How does the fact that a doctor prescribed you medicine for ADD make taking weed more justifiable? Just because you feel weed is of some benefit to you doesn't mean that a person who got a doctorate in psychiatry and your mother are somehow less knowledgeable than you.

And you dont need to hangout with hoodlums to become a drug addict. How many on Wallstreet destroy themselves with drugs?

You've already said that you smoked enough that your memory was effected by it. You're honest enough to admit it, which is a good thing, and you've said you intend to cut back, which is a good thing. I hope you're saying that for yourself and not just us. But yeah, if that's the case then a parent has cause for concern.
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Lordmatthew
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:17 pm

Weed isnt addicting...I havnt smoked in a week and I probably wont be smoking for another one or two.

Hoodlums have to do with crime, that was Mel's point I believe.

Its not a major memory thing, just would forget where i put my keys or my wallet sometimes.

Wall Street is cocaine Very Happy

My point with concerta is that the side effects of that are for more damaging then that of marijuana.
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anto_capone
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:26 pm

Lordmatthew wrote:
My mom just keeps changing the reasons why she is against it.

Nothing will change her mind about it, you aren't going to suddenly convince her that its ok to toke up in your bedroom. Razz

Try to make the next year or so of your life easier on yourself, and you will probably find that you are making it easier on others in the same process. Wink

Parents worry, is their job. Smile


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Dee_Snider
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Mon Jul 11, 2011 11:49 pm

Alas, youth must have its waltz...

However, replace the words "the law" with "my ma" and that about sums it up.

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_Melissa.
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:11 am

...


Last edited by _Melissa. on Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:18 am

about a year ago drinking smoking, and obviously smoking weed was like the most alien thing to do at my age, I thought all the fucked up kids do that.

Now im doing all that and its opened so many doors for me and stuff.

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Twisted Evil

Doing any of those in public is fun xD

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_Melissa.
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:30 am

make sure those doors dun hit yer face -.- didnt think ya needed drugs aidanface =/ ah well hang in there and try keep up with being cute Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:30 am

Damn. I must be so boring for not smoking or taking anything. I drink less than a bottle of wine per week. Shocked
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:11 pm

Partied my ass off nonstop from age 13-29 - consumed about every intoxicating substance I could get my hands on.

After a little nudging from my family, I've been completely sober for almost 15 years.

The song "All or nothing at all" must be about me. Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:07 pm

Elois wrote:
I'm sure this will look like I'm being square but...

I know people who are smarter than you who have ruined themselves from drugs and at twice your age, still remark on how stupid their family is for not letting them destroy themselves.

How does the fact that a doctor prescribed you medicine for ADD make taking weed more justifiable? Just because you feel weed is of some benefit to you doesn't mean that a person who got a doctorate in psychiatry and your mother are somehow less knowledgeable than you.

And you dont need to hangout with hoodlums to become a drug addict. How many on Wallstreet destroy themselves with drugs?

You've already said that you smoked enough that your memory was effected by it. You're honest enough to admit it, which is a good thing, and you've said you intend to cut back, which is a good thing. I hope you're saying that for yourself and not just us. But yeah, if that's the case then a parent has cause for concern.

What she said.

And as Anto said: it is a parents job to worry. My family is super conservative. If they found out half the shit I did when I was young and dumb (can't be one without the other, seriously) they would have a heart attack. Knowing that, they never "found out" what I was doing (they are sweetly naive) and I certainly didn't do it (very often) under their roof.

I would echo many others opinions: keep your nose clean until you get out of high school and go to college. I know your mom seems really annoying right now. Trust me, I get it. There is no point fighting with her, because her opinion is definitely not going to change after her petulant teen extolls the virtues of Marijuana. It's just not gonna happen. It might even keep driving her the opposite direction in her opinion.

God invented college so the young could systematically fry brain cells by getting as high as humanly possible. God invented high school to torture children. Remember that. These are not the years for this kind of nonsense, right under your parents nose! Wait till you are gone, then blaze up. And again as Anto said: enjoy this time of free rent and food! SERIOUSLY!
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Wed Jul 13, 2011 6:06 pm

...


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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:43 am

lol you got a point about the ADD pills dude fuck that shit Cool
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:57 pm

Havnt smoked in close to a month, no withdrawal, memory is still as bad, I'm less chill get angry much more easily. Been taking architecture courses(college level). I miss getting high Sad life hasn't improved while not smoking lol
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:40 pm

...


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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:45 pm

I frequented marijuana in my youth, from 16-20. But ever since I've been forced to get a real job, I've been drug free, going on 3 years now.

Never tried anything heavier, and not wanting to. I don't even like taking aspirin.

Also am a non-cigarette smoker and non-alcohol drinker. Pure as the driven snow!!
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Thu Jul 28, 2011 3:25 am

I smoked pot and did a few other drugs in my late teens/early twenties. I haven't done anything in over 8 years. I have absolutely nothing against marijuana and would far prefer to see alcohol illegal than marijuana. In my years on the streets as a paramedic, I have seen hundreds if not thousands of people who A) fell off of, over, or onto something painful B) got into a fight C) got into a car/bike/motorcycle accident or D) passed out so hard they were at risk of choking on their own vomit because of alcohol. I have never seen anyone do any of the latter due to smoking pot. It's fairly harmless, though I still don't recommend driving while high. I would smoke up if I could, but I had to put on the big girl pants and get a real job. I can get drug tested at any time, and frankly the occasional high is not worth losing my job or my certification.

If the US ever comes to their senses and legalizes it, I'll probably smoke up occasionally. But obviously on my own time - you don't drink at work and you don't smoke up either Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:57 am

Had my experiance on weed. In Africa marihuana is frequantly used most among the colored people for as long I can remember and way before that. Nobody gave a shit, more recent whites take it too. At least out of the hidden.
It's illigal but every one knows where to get it.
In Holland it's not illigal to use it, here are coffeshops that are legaly sell it. But the Dutchs Marihuana is this strong that some samples are tested and even have more THC in it than harddrugs. Don't say it's no addicted, it is. Not fysicly but mental. Nicotine is fycicly. And perhaps you don't see those things in your country like Jill said. Here young people die because they drive after using drugs. Most vagrans here are drugs addict. Seen myself how real nice people changed into wrecks because of drugs.
I sometimes take a green sigaret, but ever since i stopped smoking don't do it that much I used to.
Remember it's like El said, all what we take or do with to much in front is bad. Not even eating, smoking, drinking, blowing. Also sports, work and so on. It all can make you sick.
Only thing you never have enough is vacation Laughing
So when you know what your doing, take it with sence it's pretty harmless imo.
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PostSubject: Re: Marijuana and my mom   Wed Aug 31, 2011 2:57 pm

Like what was mentioned earlier. There's nobody like family. From personal experience when things get really tough usually you can only depend on your family and maybe 1 or 2 close friends.

Don't be worried if you lost many friends because your mum wouldn't let you go out; If their like that then really their not worth it.

You know who truly has your back when shit-really-hits-the-fan and trust me, its usually less than a handful.

Never did weed but I did enjoy the smell when I was visiting Amsterdam a few months ago.


Ooo and Have more sex, that improves life a lot. Smile You can never have enough Smile
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