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 How's life treating ya?

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Donnor
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:02 am

Im starting rehab at noon...If I die IG and dont come back, I will once I have cleaned up. See yall on the flip side Smile

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Stalvan
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:11 am

Good luck Donnor -- I think it's excellent what you've been doing for yourself. See you on the flip side!
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Telcara
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:26 am

Mel, don't delete what you said. I find it very inspiring. I wanted to delete what I posted but then couldn't decide so I didn't do anything XD

I appreciate it Zakku.

I just want to make it clear for any one reading that I'm not looking for any online treatment crap. I am on medication. I am on a list to get cognitive therapy. Unfortunately, when my doc sent the referral the waiting time was 4 months. I went for assessment at the mental health care service approx 2 months ago. The woman I talked to wrote down some things on a paper with fancy squares with things I should do when I feel 'low'. She didn't like it that I called it 'survival plan'. 4 months waiting time and the only help in the meantime is medication and an emergency number for mental health, wtf was I supposed to call it. Note: I can't sleep (ha!) and have had a headache the whole day. My typing is bad, I'm unsure how to express myself and feel like I'm typing nonsense crap. Razz

I try to eat normally. I have ever since I remembered had difficulties eating after waking up, it makes me feel very nauseous. I have two cups of coffee with milk and 2 tsp sugar to kick me up from unmotivational zombie 'I feel like not doing a shit except hugging blankie' state. For dinner usually eat rice/couscous/pasta/potatoes with fish/chicken and always with veggies. Sometimes veggies take up the spot for fish/chicken. Oh, and yummy sauce over it all. What foods would you say contain white sugar and other types of sugar? Natural sugars are in pretty much everything.

I don't exercise. I don't have the energy or motivation. Its darker autumn/winter months now which most likely has had a negative effect on me, but who knows what affect these ups-and-downs really. I don't go out for walks any more and I don't do anything in the garden even if there are weeds. I know I should and that doing such things is good for me but I simply can't come past the barrier in my head. Its easy for people (and doctors..) to say 'try to anyway!'. It frustrates me that my doctor doesn't understand that I'm afraid of driving myself so far that I'll lose myself -get to close to the 'edge'- and with that the thing that makes me not listen to the selfharming/suicidal part of my mind. Usual day to day life I'm doing fine. When there's any kind of pressure I have to concentrate on not letting those thoughts through and that takes energy and effort.

In the past when I got my sleep cycle messed up I'd stay up for a whole day to be tired to sleep at a normal time. I tried that now and it makes me weird. Same happens if I get too little sleep ~4 hours. I can't remember things. Stuff which people have said or say, what I say/said. Its mostly conversation. Can be things days ago or a sentence I said 1 sec ago - literally. I wouldn't know that if people didn't say 'you asked me that just now and I said...'. It is creepy yes but I can deal with it for the most part, with notes and telling people to remind me.

As for eating when feeling crappy, I keep a drawer for emergency candy. Yes yes you say you avoid sugars... chocolate and sweets do improve my mood though. Actually, I ate a package of sweets today and comparing the 'before' and 'after', it helped. Eating a sandwich just doesn't do that for me? When I feel really crappy, I don't have any appetite. I'd like to know about those hippie dippie stuff. I'm curious what they could be. And hippie dippie just sounds way too funny.
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Telcara
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:29 am

Donnor wrote:
Im starting rehab at noon...If I die IG and dont come back, I will once I have cleaned up. See yall on the flip side Smile

Good luck. Sadly, I think the hardest part is staying clean and not fall back into old patterns... I hope you can find the strength to go through it!
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Sephrenia
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:04 am

*clings to Tel* Reading some of this actually really helps me. I might try and get a few things out later, once I've done my fatalistic job applying >.> I need to anyway, to write to a consultant :/
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Telcara
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Thu Nov 17, 2011 3:13 pm

Glad to hear Sephrenia Smile


I was talking to my mom yesterday (who lives in Sweden, I'm in UK just to point out). Told her I had been feeling more down and no energy for anything. She said it must be autumn, as November is the darkest month of the year. She has been feeling exactly the same. That made me feel a whole lot better, knowing its not just me. I told her that 'I know its bad to say this but I'm glad you're feeling the same'. Even my younger brothers who usually have too much energy have been affected as well as other people she knows. I guess that people like her and me who already are a bit on the 'low' side experience it more how to say it, extremely. I'm just so much relieved now.

I got an idea yesterday for something to write about. Shall see where that leads.
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_Melissa.
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:29 pm

Eh, deleted it, was ranting about stuff I shouldn't be on about.


Last edited by _Melissa. on Fri Nov 18, 2011 4:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Zakku
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:52 pm

tel ever heard of Seasonal affective disorder? Peoples from the Nordic Countries and England tend to suffer from it rather badly I hear

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder
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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:59 pm

They say even with general depression, the season affects people's moods more. Sun lamps help. I want to get a sun lamp just because there are days when sleeping all day is more appealing than doing anything useful or necessary.
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Sephrenia
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:05 pm

I've been soooo tired this month. I put it down to coming off the last of the meds I was on daily rather than as and when but seems to have got worse with the days getting shorter :/ Bf been of the opinion that was a silly thing for me to be thinking was the reason ¬_¬
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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:10 pm

Drink some V8 and take lots of vitamins.
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Zakku
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Fri Nov 18, 2011 1:53 pm

Vitamin D is something that is really supposed to help. I drink raw milk to get part of my fix but a calcium/Vitamin D supplement isnt a terrible solution.


Mage and I were thinking about getting one of those a few of those Sunlight bulbs to put in a couple of our lamps and lighting fixtures this year and see how that works for us. The Bulbs tend to be less expensive then the lights but I dont have a clue if they work better.
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Sephrenia
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:44 pm

If I can get a job then I can get the supplements Laughing
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Telcara
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:56 pm

Yeah, thing with season depression is that some claim its winter, some spring.. others autumn.. and summer?!? In Sweden in the area I lived (north is very different from the rest in my opinion, I lived in the middle-ish parts) people generally seem to get more tired as the days get darker - late autumn and winter. I was talking in an RK tavern with someone about those sunlamps. Damn. £100. She claims it helps her but I'm a bit =| mostly because of the price. If I only were a bear and had a cave to slumber in throughout all winter...!

EDIT:
I did a search and managed to find some at around £60. Might make a wish for one under the christmas tree! Very Happy

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx
The NHS page has better information than Wikipedia, which I wouldn't use as a trusted source Razz

I just LOOOOVVEEE the list of treatments
Quote :
* light therapy: treatment with bright light
* talking therapies: such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
* antidepressants: medication to treat depression

Meds - yup
Therapy - a bloody long wait
SAD light - better give it a try then?
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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:01 pm

Natural remedies are always worth trying before getting into the meds. Herbs, exercise, prayer, and even my priest says to keep taking my meds. Razz But I'm clinical. I wish SAD was my problem. And yeah, it makes sense that SAD can happen in different seasons. Many people have seasonal allergies and that's not all in one season either.
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Telcara
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:41 pm

A sun light can be used for more than to treat SAD. In general, it seems to make people feel better.

I talked with Edwin shortly after looking up the prices etc, found one good one for £50. He agreed to get me it as a christmas gift, even if he thinks its bullshit. But I'm happy Very Happy We'll order it in a week, I'll post how it goes Wink
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Zakku
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Mon Nov 21, 2011 9:20 pm

wish ya the best of luck with it!
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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:36 pm

Not digging this weather at all. rained nasty today. Was also drizzly the other night. I think I'm borderline asthmatic because this weather makes me cough until I get in doors and have some tea.

Saw Jack and Jill the other night with my sis and her boyfriend. My sis is a big Sandler fan. Was a cute movie. I don't regret seeing it but it's not worth paying the big screen ticket price.

Worked in a soup kitchen, deep in the Bronx today. Thought I was going to get to serve the food and all but it was all chop, chop, chop and peel and chop veggies. Tons of celery and sweet potatoes the size of my head. The kind that wont chop with the sharpest knife, so ya got to hammer the potato onto the potato until it breaks in half. Some others bagged canned foods. Some baked chocolate cake. Some chopped a million onions next to me until I could barely see past my own tears. Laughing All in all, a good time.
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_Melissa.
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:21 am

I'm thankful for having 2 hands and legs, it makes it quicker to get ready to go. Be lucky to have them! 2 eyes that don't work too well but are still there and ears.
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Telcara
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:00 am

Hmm.. you might be allergic to something Elois? Or does that only occur when its raining?

Nice that you worked in a soup kitchen. I like the thought of giving back or doing something in the community, some type of volunteer work. Unfortunately hadn't had the opportunity myself.

Speaking of hands and legs Mel, Edwin and I have watched quite a few programs on BBC regarding the British Army. Great way for me to learn how things work here. Its quite focused on the war in Iraq and you get to follow some soldiers/hear their thoughts. It surprised me so many said they'd rather die than lose an arm or leg. They got these improvised explosives detonations? IED in the ground, which if it doesn't kill the solider often takes a chunk of a leg or two. Well, I don't want to have a political discussion or that stuff here but just to give a back story to what I'm saying. First of all they are all volunteers. With the medicine and science today a prosthetic arm or leg can be nearly as functional as a real one, meaning you can still live a normal life. =p
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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:31 pm

I think everyone should work in a soup kitchen, at least once. Makes all the petty bs that happens day to day feel more meaningless. And I just really needed to do something constructive, because being unemployed and not being able to work is not good for my mind at all. I think there's a local food pantry a few blocks from here, that deals with canned food. I might try working with them, depending on how they work.

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_Melissa.
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:10 pm

Telcara wrote:
Hmm.. you might be allergic to something Elois? Or does that only occur when its raining?

Nice that you worked in a soup kitchen. I like the thought of giving back or doing something in the community, some type of volunteer work. Unfortunately hadn't had the opportunity myself.

Speaking of hands and legs Mel, Edwin and I have watched quite a few programs on BBC regarding the British Army. Great way for me to learn how things work here. Its quite focused on the war in Iraq and you get to follow some soldiers/hear their thoughts. It surprised me so many said they'd rather die than lose an arm or leg. They got these improvised explosives detonations? IED in the ground, which if it doesn't kill the solider often takes a chunk of a leg or two. Well, I don't want to have a political discussion or that stuff here but just to give a back story to what I'm saying. First of all they are all volunteers. With the medicine and science today a prosthetic arm or leg can be nearly as functional as a real one, meaning you can still live a normal life. =p
May've watched it, if it was around Remembrance Day. How's the weather up there? I watched one about art therapy for army soldiers who were n combat and suffered from PTSD. I wish more was invested into mental heath of these people, they did provide a voluntary service, risking their lives so should be helped with how to deal with the aftermath. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-15676268 Was v. sad, I almost felt like crying and I never cry, it was emotional and I felt so happy that they expressed themselves by art to try cure feeling sad, could understand as I use art as escapism. Nowadays I write a few days a week as a part of work and am glad I was chosen to be creative that way, something fun to do rather than other stuff so look forward to it. Without art or writing to express oneself, the world can feel like a lonely place Smile. I'd highly recommend art therapy, writing or reading as it helps a lot. Otherwise self defence/ karate, that helped me and I still want a punchbag to work on. Soups great, everybody loves soup, one day Eli, build a soup empire. It costs so little to make yet there's high profit, imagine how happy people would be to be given free soup! I eat lots of soup at under £5 per lunch. Genius idea!

Eh I deleted a bit now instead of the entire text, as I feel it is unnecessary for myself to be personal here (it was my weakness but clearly overcoming it), hate being a ranty biatch exposing issues to the universe but I've stopped moaning and deal with shit like an adult now, no time to go boohoo lifes a bitch, it is about acting on things and doing them rather than sulking. No, I'm not cold, sometimes am a bit too emotional and understanding with other people's problems erm even complete strangers who I only know so little, it is nicer to listen to others who have it hard rather than drowning in one's own sorrows so I think it is better to try and be hopeful. Yes, being fairly healthy is a privilege, Embarassed sometimes I may need a chair to reach for the top cupboard but imagine others who have trouble cooking or wiping their butt or blowing their nose. Neutral I feel tad embarrassed with my tone in this ikkle paragraph here, may delete it, if I re-read it thinking what a knob! Razz
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Toasti Jen
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:25 pm

Zakku, this is especially for you:

I just notarized something that will be going before Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I feel pre-tty pre-tty pre-tty special!


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Elois
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Mon Dec 19, 2011 3:32 am

So, got a big stuffy cold. Gonna see a doc, I guess. Between antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, meds to support those meds, and "let's not bleed to death today, mkay" meds, I'm really tired of meds. Adding cold meds is just a mess.

Been talking to Cheatley tonight, about crazy people who think a Pepsi can is celebrating 9/11 on Facebook. Tried out the new Facebook timeline thingamabob, which looked intimidating at first but now I'm enjoying it.

A little highlight of myself, circa 2009:

Quote :
"(3:04:38 AM) Me: i've been pagan irl for over a decade
(3:04:49 AM) Me: but i've gotten to know pagans
(3:04:58 AM) Me: and i've come to realize
03:05
(3:05:10 AM) Me: faith is like a penis
(3:05:19 AM) Me: that grows bigger with desire
(3:05:24 AM) Ed: I need to write that down somewhere
(3:05:30 AM) Me: and religion is like a gangbang
(3:05:48 AM) Me: and i don't want anyone's penis rubbing against mine
(3:05:58 AM) Ed: lol
(3:06:21 AM) Ed: I really need to become a priest now and say that in a sermon"


I have no idea how I'm going to rephrase that now. Razz
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Aidan
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PostSubject: Re: How's life treating ya?   Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:05 pm

that timeline styled facebook is exactly the same as Bebo. what all of ireland used before faceboook hit it big. It sucks

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